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Sunday, April 17, 2011

It's no use

Have you tried to get your children to listen to you? Have you tried telling them to eat more nutritious food? Sleep early? Stop playing computer game? Do their homework? Revise for their examination? Clear their desk? Organise their room? Make their bed? Wash their shoes? Behave themselves?

I assure you, it's no use. Yes it's no use 'telling' them what to do. It's no use yelling at them. It's no use punishing them for not doing what they're supposed to do. 

If we want our children to grow up into self-respecting adults, we cannot allow them to develop a habit of relying on other people to tell them what they should do, or waiting for someone to kick them into action.

This does not mean we should hasten the process of their independence by letting go altogether. Nor should we keep dictating their every action. Rather, a parent's love and motivation is very important in guiding them along this inevitable route of growing up.

If we reflect upon ourselves, what are the actions we take everyday? We do what we 'should' do (most of the time, I assume), what we 'want' to do, and what we 'like' to do. So if we can motivate our children to like what they're supposed to do, then we don't have to keep telling them what to do, right? But HOW do we achieve that? Through playing games? Through ourselves setting an example or role model for them? Through our praise and encouragement? Through their own sense of achievement and fulfilment?

The above thoughts are really too brief. Perhaps I'll spend more time reflecting and expanding upon them in future. Bringing up our children is essentially a project in progress. However this project also enables us to progress in our own life journey, expanding and deepening along the way.

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